A friend recently asked if my physical conditions got me to be anxious and my response to her was “Actually no, it got me to be resilient… it’s all about one’s mindset!” And every bit of that answer is true.
Whenever I used to get sick, be it a flu, stomachache, migraine, I used to find refuge in bed and wait for my pain to ease and heal. The same happened when I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia! I was afraid of walking to avoid pain, afraid of leaving my house to avoid stares, afraid of talking about how I felt to avoid pity… and it all changed one day, the day I decided to face my insecurities and change my mindset.
I told myself that if I was to live with a chronic illness all my life, I had to change the conditions around my daily routines to make this “new life” work. It’s my sanity and mental health that were at stake, more than my fear of pain as I got used to it after a while.
Being in pain and still getting out of bed is a mindset.
Aching from fatigue and still finishing that physiotherapy session is a mindset.
Walking awkwardly and still taking that stroll is a mindset.
Feeling frail and still attend that social event is a mindset.
Aren’t we all disabled one way or another? Think of it, why can someone speak ten languages while someone else struggles to learn his native mother tongue? Why can someone be better at running, singing, dancing, mathematics, football… while others aren’t?
I could have stayed in bed, ached from fatigue, not took that stroll, kept on feeling frail and stayed home alone, but I chose not to. It’s not because I suddenly recovered or felt better, it’s because I wanted to “feel normal” … I want to be back to my old self. So, I accepted my disabilities, there’s no shame of accepting your incapacities, and changed my mindset. I learned how to live along pain and to fake being ok because it made my loved ones worry less and I wanted to spare them the agony and spare myself the remorse of seeing them suffer with me.
Let’s normalize our attitude towards chronic disease warriors, let’s respect their boundaries and support them without showing pity. Let’s change that shaming attitude and embrace a new mindset, that of treating them as “normal”.
Myriam A.H.K.
2 Comments
Love it. But but but if i may… 🙏🏻 although I do understand why you would fake being ok for your loved ones because I sometimes do that myself… I personally dont agree with that! It is OK not to be ok… what is NOT ok is to stay still and not do anything about it. But it is ok to feel, you need to feel to heal… and it is ok not to have it all together at times… your loved ones have to accept and adapt and give you your time and be there for you to support you. Your mental health is as important and you shouldn’t ignore it nor numb the pain.
It is sad that sometimes, some of those we love and who love us back to death, don’t really understand nor validate the pain…they say things they shouldn’t be saying … or that won’t necessarily make you feel better in that moment when you’re at your lowest (thinking they’re helping while they’re not)…!
So…find that person or few people who you can share your pain with knowing that they won’t judge you or those who will only give you their ear to listen or those who have a certain way, who regardless of what they say, will make you feel better…those are the ones who will push you, no matter how hard it feels, to keep going and face whatever life throws your way.
I’ll end this by saying something i always say about myself: “I find strength in my own vulnerability” and I hope you do to Myriam.
God bless you and your beautiful family 🙏🏻♥️
Much love. Xxx
Wow thanks for your comment dear Nour, loved your feedback so much and yes I do fully agree on that.
God bless you!
Love
Myriam